The Power of Regret

A painting by artist Philip Alexius De László (1892) entitled “Regret.”

How our regrets can teach us the most valuable lessons.

Do you ever look back and wish you’d done something differently? Said something differently? Chosen another path? We all carry regret, sometimes quietly, sometimes heavily.

The writer Daniel Pink calls regret our most powerful teacher. His research shows that our regrets are not spiritual dead ends but invitations to pay attention to what matters most. The things we regret, he says, reveal what we value.

If we regret not spending more time with our parents, we value connection. If we regret not pursuing a dream, we value meaning. If we regret not being kinder, we value compassion. In that light, regret isn’t punishment. It’s revelation.

Jesus once told a story about a wealthy man who lived in comfort while a poor man named Lazarus sat outside his gate, hungry and unnoticed. After both die, their fortunes are reversed. The poor man is carried to peace while the rich man finds himself in anguish.

But the rich man doesn’t react by begging for a return to comfort and riches. He asks for a drop of water, and for his family to be warned. In that moment of regret, we see what he truly values: mercy, relationship, compassion, and the chance to make things right.

That’s the grace hidden inside regret. It helps us rediscover what our hearts already know: that relationships, purpose, and love matter most. When we acknowledge our regrets with honesty and self-compassion, we begin to live differently. We are more aware, more grateful, and more alive.

If someone crosses your mind today, reach out. A call, a message, a small gesture can become a step toward healing and renewal.

Your regrets are not the end of your story. They may be the beginning of becoming who you are truly called to be.

• Fr. John Gribowich